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Love is blind
Have you ever been blinded by love? Have you ever felt that special commitment that you and your lover shared, where you would do anything for them? Love is a very complicated and extensive subject. They say love is all about patience and how willing you are to sacrifice anything and everything for that one special person. I think every challenge, obstacle, you go through in life has meaningful purpose. A lot of things happen to you that you don't understand and leave you wondering why or how after. These situations teach you some kind of a lesson and make you stronger, even if you don't realize it. It's easy to get knocked down in life, but this is the time when you have to find out what you learned about yourself and how it shaped you and taught you something that you will never forget. I learned the true meaning of the cliche "love is blind" during the summer after my graduation.
Before I moved to Florida, about three years ago, I could say that I never experienced love. I was still young and really not ready to settle down and have a monogamous relationship. I was into hanging out with the girls and just basically having fun and being a normal teenager. At the beginning of my senior year I realized all of my friends were getting boyfriends. They would tell me how it was so great and how much they loved them. What could I say? After awhile it wasnt me hanging out with girls anymore, it was them hanging out with their boyfriends. It was unexpected and I didn't really like it to much.
Things seemed to get better after graduation because that was the time
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to party and have the most fun. One night during the summer I met a guy named Shane. I wasn't interested at all. I thought to myself, he is definitely not my type. He is too short and not very attractive. So basically I played hard to get. But something made me stay and continue a conversation with him. At the end of the night I ended up giving him my number. Turns out, he was the one playing hard to get. We didn't hang out until about two weeks after I had met him. When we finally did hang out it wasn't the greatest. I could tell he wasn't the dating type because all of his attention was not on me. Plus he told me straight up, " I don't want a girlfriend." Even though I knew all of this, it made me like him even more. I would wonder what he was doing when I wasn't around. What other girl he might be with. If he didn't call me, I would get upset. I thought to myself how could this guy that I have known for a couple of months make me feel this way. It was like he had all control over me. He could make me so mad, but then a day later he would sweet talk me and I would totally forget why I was mad. He was very good at manipulation and could make me believe everything that he said was true. It forced me into thinking he was always in the right.
Liking this guy, soon turned into love, or at least what I thought was love. But how could you love someone that doesn't love you back, and maybe doesn't even care about you at all. Finally, I decided I am not going to call him and try to move on. It was hard at first but I finally got used to it. The tables basically turned. He started calling me more often, and wanting to do something all of the time. There I was again, stuck in a situation where I was blind and confused.
Although sometimes were miserable, I now know how someone should and shouldn't treat you whether or not they are your boyfriend or just your friend. Looking back, I can't say that I regret any of it. When I look back at the good times we had, I still get that warm feeling and smile about it. Putting up with this guy has taught me more about relationships and myself. I now have a better understanding of what I want in a boyfriend, and what I need to be content. The cliche "love is blind" has taught me not to get caught up in believing that a couple nice words or gestures means that someone loves you. It has helped me become more in touch with myself and taught me how to really care for someone. This whole experience has shaped my life, in the only way I could've hoped my first love would.
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