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Friendship is possible when both parties have fairly good emotional boundaries around what's private and not common ground. These boundaries are going to need time to be regenerated. If were going to separate, the harder task is to separate emotionally, not just physically. Casual leisure contact sends your unconscious the misguided message that the relationship will continue as usual. It will prevent you from getting on with the painful but necessary business of grieving over the losses. If you try to keep casual company with each other, you probably will begin to suffer strategic amnesia or another form of creeping denial regarding the reasons for the separation in the first place.
Going forward, instead of sadness I want to surround myself with love from my children, friends and family. Though here lately this has seemed to me the most impossible emotion to experience, it is to become my course of action. Love is the key to my control of myself and to the door that is opening toward moving forward. Love is what brought us into our relationship and love is the power that will lead me to the meaningful resolution of this pain I feel.
I love myself for those qualities, which brought me into the realm of your life. My willingness to give of myself and to take the risk of being hurt. And to love you in spite of the pain I am feeling is to give you the same freedom we will both need in order to move on.
Love is a force that renews us and prepares us for tomorrow. Hurt and anger is a shackle that keeps us tied to the past. I want to drop the shackles!
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You will not soon be forgotten. The memory of you will help me by insisting on remembering the beautiful experiences that we shared. The painful ones, which separated us, will need no coaxing from my memory. I will take the qualities, which I found in you and develop them in myself, use them as a way of better experiencing my love for my children, my family and all the others who are important in my life. After all, those were qualities, which brought me into love, with you and they are no less worthy today.
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